Personal Statement

In the summer of 2025, an online article made public details of my past moral and ethical failures, framing them within the context of adult Clergy Sexual Misconduct. Beginning in April 2025, I had been diligently addressing these matters privately and within appropriate circles. When the article appeared, my full statement was not published, which created a need for clarification. Because the situation was made public, I believe it is appropriate to share here—both for transparency and for those seeking to understand the broader context—the full statement I submitted in response to the reporter’s inquiry.

“I deeply regret and take responsibility for engaging in a sexual relationship that was a clear violation of my marital vows and a profound lapse in the ethical canons placed in me as a pastor. My role as a pastor required me to uphold the highest ethical standards and to prioritize the spiritual and emotional well-being of those I served. These actions represented a profound failure to meet those obligations and a misuse of the trust placed in me. I understand that my affair partner now views our relationship as an instance of Clergy Sexual Misconduct and identifies as a victim. While we hold some different views on the situation, I have the utmost respect for their perspective and the validity of their feelings. I sincerely ask for forgiveness from my spouse, my family, the offended, and their family, and all those I have harmed. I express deep shame and remorse for my actions and the pain they have caused.”
-Darren Kizer Statement (May 2025)

Why This Page Exists

This page exists not to dispute that harm occurred, nor to challenge another person's experience of it, but to ensure that my own words and perspective are part of the public record. I believe it is possible—and necessary—to hold full responsibility for wrongdoing while also providing additional context. What happened between 2013 and the years that followed was wrong—I broke boundaries, betrayed trust, and hurt people who mattered to me. I can’t undo that. What I can do is keep owning it, keep learning, and keep living differently.

The terms I used publicly have specific origins and intent. The word “offended” comes from the research language of Dr. Diana Garland, used to preserve anonymity and avoid retraumatizing labels. The phrase “affair partner” was adopted on the recommendation of licensed therapists to reference the relationship while being sensitive to my spouse.

I’m not seeking to be restored to any position of influence; I’m just trying to live honestly, take responsibility, and let my actions show the work I’m still doing toward integrity and repair.

I ask anyone reading this not to use my words to target, question, or attack the other party.

Additional Context

The initial misconduct occurred between the fall of 2013 and spring of 2014, during my tenure as clergy, in a context that carried a power imbalance due to my pastoral and supervisory role. I stepped away from my role as pastor on April 3, 2014, and have not held any formal clergy position since that time.

The relationship continued in ways that I understood as mutual and voluntary through years of professional and personal friendship, including a later season when I was in a supervisory role and they accepted a part-time contract position, and ending with a period in which clear boundaries were re-established. Regardless of that understanding, I alone was responsible for maintaining boundaries and I failed to do so. My understanding of the relationship as mutual was shaped by an additional decade of reciprocal interaction—ongoing communication, invitations to dozens of family gatherings, requests for professional references, assistance with moving, and later, requests to babysit, serve as an emergency contact for their child, and travel to visit and run a half marathon at their new home in another state a few years ago. Regardless of how I understood those years, the inappropriate aspects of the relationship remained ethically wrong and reflected an ongoing failure on my part to maintain healthy boundaries and integrity. I take full responsibility for those lapses—both during those eight months as clergy and in the years that followed.

Since being confronted about my misconduct, I have stepped away from all ministry and faith-adjacent leadership roles, relinquished my ordination, and entered into long-term therapy and accountability. My focus has been on repentance, transparency, and living amends in my personal and professional life.

I recognize that others have interpreted this situation through the lens of Clergy Sexual Misconduct, and I respect that perspective. The situation involved serious ethical lapses between adults—wrong, damaging, and unacceptable—but not coercion, predatory behavior, or illegal conduct. I share this not to diminish wrongdoing, but to describe it as I understood and experienced it.

I continue to pursue healing and accountability alongside my spouse, counselors, and mentors. My hope is to live with integrity, humility, and a sustained commitment to truth and restoration.

Clarifications

Some aspects of the article appear to have created confusion about the timeline and context. While I won’t attempt to address every detail, I want to clarify several objective points that can be verified through existing records and correspondence. These points are offered only to clarify—they do not excuse my misconduct.

  • I accepted a position with a nonprofit organization in early April 2014 that required relocation from Pennsylvania to Georgia the following year. That relocation was part of the agreed structure of my employment and predated their independent decision to also relocate to Georgia. In 2016, they chose to accept employment at the same organization where I was already working, with the understanding that our professional paths would overlap during the work week.

  • The book project referenced in the article was initiated with another author in April 2013—months before any inappropriate interactions occurred. Their later decision to assist as a project manager and to participate in a voluntary research trip was unrelated to their church employment and carried no financial or professional obligation. Becoming a co-author was a group decision that occurred later.

  • The workspace described as a “deserted office” was an active professional suite with approximately ten colleagues based there. They had previously worked from that space multiple times while on a different team and were familiar with the setting and staff presence.

-Posted February 18, 2026